Beautifully Broken
by EternallyEC
Summary: Can Natalie and John fix what never should have been broken? Rated PG for minor language


**Disclaimer: **All belongs to ABCD, and the song is by Ashlee Simpson

**Fandom: **One Life to Live

**Characters: **Natalie Vega and John McBain

**WARNINGS: **None

**Rating: **PG

Dedications: This one is for Ashley and Becki, they know why! ;)

**Timeline/Spoilers: **None, it's an AU

**Author's Notes: **This CD has too many freaking song-fics waiting to be written on it! Enjoy the first of many

**Summary: **Can John and Natalie fix what never should have been broken?

**Title: **Beautifully Broken

Natalie Vega was walking through Angel's Square, silent tears streaming down her face as she tried to make sense of the past year. The one man she had thought she could trust, the one man she had allowed into her heart after she'd caught her husband with her twin sister had finally revealed his deceptions and left town a year ago today. She stared up at the statue Cristian had carved so long ago, no longer finding any solace in the eyes staring down at her.

She glared at the angel as if it had caused her problems. "What the hell are you looking at?" she muttered, knowing she sounded petty and not really caring. She jumped at the sound of an all-too familiar voice replying, "The most beautiful woman I've ever loved." Natalie wrapped her arms around herself, trying to pretend her sudden chill was just from the cool night air. "What the hell are you doing here?"

John remained a good distance away, knowing that Natalie was probably in no way ready to see him again. After all, he had broken her trust and her heart, then left town for a year without ever trying to contact her. Would he want to see himself if he were in her place?

"I came back because I needed to apologize. I know that I have no right to even look at you, but I took the coward's way out and—I need to know if you can ever forgive me." Natalie turned to look at him, and he was shocked to see how much pain was etched in her eyes—but more surprised to see the love still burning bright. "John, we need to talk." She brushed past him, clearly intending for him to follow.

Natalie walked fast; not sure if she was trying to lose John or just trying to keep herself from looking at him. She hated herself for the hope she felt because of his reappearance, she should know better than to feel this happy. It always ended in tears for her, and that was one thing that would never change.

After a few minutes Natalie looked around and was surprised to find that she had unconsciously led them to the Llanview University campus, the place where she felt the most secure. Ever since she'd begun attending classes the previous fall her self-esteem had taken a turn for the better, and she spent most of her waking hours here. She led John over to a bench and they sat, Natalie making certain she kept a good four inches between them.

Natalie sighed as she met John's eyes for the first time. "John, you really don't deserve this but I'm going to give you a chance to explain. So talk." John took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. "I know that I have no right to even ask for this chance, Natalie." She held up her hand. "Just go."

He nodded. "Look, when you found out what I had done I was terrified; scared to death of how much I loved you. I was scared that you would refuse to see me again—" "So you left first?" Natalie's voice was bitter but he caught a tinge of sympathy. He nodded. "I ran. I've done it ever since Caitlin—" He swallowed. "I never wanted to get close enough to get hurt like that again. Then I met you, and you just changed everything."

He took a deep breath. "I know that what I did is about as unforgivable as you can get, and I wouldn't blame you if you told me to get the hell out of Llanview right now. Most of all, I know that I don't deserve what I want most." "And what would that be?" He reached out and touched her cheek with his thumb, speaking in a hoarse whisper. "I want a place in your life again. Is there any chance of that happening?"

Natalie inhaled sharply as his touch brought up long-forgotten sensations. She closed her eyes and put her hand over his own; slowly pulling it off her cheek and placing it back onto his leg. She nervously twisted a strand of hair around her finger as she tried to process everything.

"John, you're right. You don't deserve another chance, but I'd like to see if you and I still fit." She bit her lip nervously. "It's going to take a lot of time and effort for me to be able to trust you and let you back in, but I think we both owe it to Brielle to try." John felt tears come to his eyes, and Natalie instinctively moved closer. "Let's go home, okay?"

Natalie led John into the carriage house quietly, jumping at the sight of Rex sitting on the couch staring at them through the blackness. "What the hell are you doing sitting here in the dark?" she whispered, trying to overcome her scare. He stood to his feet and kissed her cheek, his angry eyes never leaving John. "Brielle was fussy earlier so I let her come in here with me," he replied, nodding towards the couch.

John's breath caught in his throat as he began to walk towards the couch slowly. Rex tried to go after him but Natalie grabbed his sleeve. "Not now," she whispered firmly, kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you for watching her, I'll call you in the morning." Rex nodded. "Make sure he knows if he hurts either of my girls I'm going to kick his ass." Natalie smiled. "I think he already knows." They embraced and Rex left.

Natalie turned on the light, and she smiled as Brielle stirred, going over to sit beside her. She looked down at her eleven-month old daughter, who had truly been one of the only reasons she had survived the past year. She pulled her into her arms, kissing her cheek before motioning for John to come sit beside them. His eyes were full of wonder as he watched his daughter's eyes flutter open. They locked onto his gaze and she smiled. His reserve fell apart at the sight and he reached out for his daughter, whom immediately began squirming to go to him.

Brielle Anne McBain was nothing if not angelic looking. Her cherubic face was framed by a thick mass of golden curls, and she had John's eyes. When she wanted something, she usually got it from any of her quite large extended family, despite Natalie's attempts to stop the Buchanans from spoiling her daughter. Natalie pulled herself out of her reverie to watch John take their daughter in his arms for the first time.

She smiled. It brought a deep satisfaction to her heart to see how they immediately took to one another. Suddenly Brielle turned, a frightened look in her eyes as her eyes darted around looking for Natalie. She smiled as her mother moved closer, leaning on John's shoulder so that she was within her line of vision.

John lifted a golden curl and gently twisted it around his finger. "Where did she get blonde hair from?" he whispered, still in awe. Natalie laughed. "You're no more surprised than we were. It all goes back to genetics, which I don't feel like getting into right now." She moved her head slightly so that she was looking up at him as he watched Brielle play with the buttons on his coat.

"John?" He moved closer. "Yeah?" "I think I want you to kiss me." He smiled. "I can do that." He leaned down to kiss her, and Brielle giggled as she tugged on their hair. They broke apart smiling. "Why the hell did I ever walk away from this?" Natalie grinned. "You're an idiot?" He chuckled. "That must be it." He kissed her again.

FIN


End file.
